Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Kris Aquino and St. Augustine: On mistresses and marriages

Kris A.-Love & Inspiration
Kris A.-Love & Inspiration
ABS-CBN published an article entitled, Bimbi shocks mom Kris with sex question.  Here is what the dialogue may sound like:
Bimby: Mama, so Kuya and I have different papas, right? So that means you had sex with two men?
Kris: Yeah, Bimb. I was confused, I was wrong. You should stick to one.
Bimby: Me, I'm gonna have one wife and I'm only going to sleep with one woman.
Kris: Ipapaalala ko 'yan sa iyo. (I shall remind you of that.)
This dialogue reminds me of the story of the Emperor who walked with great majesty among the people, showing off his new clothes made of golden threads.  Even though in fact he has nothing on, all the people around him pretended that they saw the magnificent robe and bowed to him in reverence, until one boy spoke up and told the truth: the emperor has no clothes.  And all the people laughed at the Emperor.

In the case of Bimbi and Kris, it is the little boy, Bimbi, who pointed out to her mom, Kris, the Queen of All Media, that she has no clothes on when she slept beside two men.  Kris was not married to either the Joshua's dad (Philip Salvador) or Bimbi's dad (James Yap): her marriage with the latter was annulled because of lack of authority of the solemnizing officer.

That was a teaching moment, and Kris lived to teach her son about morality--not that a man is handsome if he slept with many women or that the woman is beautiful because she slept with many men--but rather about fidelity: to sleep only with the spouse or husband and no other.  But actually, it was her son Bimbi who reminded Kris of this truth and Kris can only but assent and confirm.

May this episode be a start for a new life for Kris.  May the countless rosaries of her mother, Cory, grant for her graces for her conversion.  St. Monica was also able to save his son, Augustine, not only from the heresy of Manichaenism but also from his living a promiscuous life by having a mistress.  As St. Augustine wrote in his Confessions:

Confessions (Penguin Classics)
Confessions (Penguin Classics)
She found me in great danger because of my despair at ever finding the truth.  Yet when I told her that I was no longer a Manichean, although not a Catholic Christian, she did not leap with joy, as if she had heard something unexpected....Rather, she was all the more certain that you, who had promised the whole, would grant what still remained.  Hence most calmly and with a heart filled with confidence, she replied to me how she believed in Christ that before she departed from this life she would see me a faithful Catholic. (p. 134)
It was a difficult for St. Augustine to fight against his flesh, but with God's grace, he was able to master them all:
In truth, you command me to be continent with regard to "the concupiscence of the flesh, and the concupiscence of the eyes, and the ambition of the world."  You have commanded me to abstain from concubinage, and in place of marriage itself, which you permit, you have counseled something better.  Since you granted this to me, it has been fulfilled even before I became a dispenser of your sacrament.  Yet in my memory, of which I have said many things, there still live images of such things as my former habits implanted there.  When I am awake, they assail me but lacking in strength; in sleep they assail me not only so as to arouse pleasure, but even consent and something very like the deed itself.  So great a power have these deep images over my soul and my flesh that these false visions persuade me when asleep to do what true sights cannot persuade me to when awake. 

Marriage and Virginity (Works of Saint Augustine: A Translation for the 21st Century)
Marriage and Virginity (Works of Saint Augustine: A Translation for the 21st Century)
At such times am I not myself, O Lord  my God?  Yet so great a difference is there between myself and that same self of mine within the moment when I pass from waking to sleep or return hither from sleep!  At such times where is reason, by which a man awake resists those suggestions, and remains unshaken even if the very deeds themselves are urged upon him?  Is it closed, together with my eyes?  Is it asleep, together with the body's senses?  How is it that even in sleep we often resist, and mindful of our resolution, persist in it most chastely, and yield no assent to such allurements?  Yet so great a difference obtains that, when it happens otherwise, we return on awaking to peace of conscience.  By that very contrast we discover that it was not ourselves who did what we yet grieve over as in some manner done within us. (Chapter 30, Persistence of Temptation, p. 256)
Let us all pray for Kris Aquino.  There is always hope for every man and woman to change their lives for the better.  As Christ said to the woman caught in adultery:
Neither do I condemn you. Go, [and] from now on do not sin any more. (Jn 8:11)