Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Philippine Presidentiables 2016: Sino ang tunay na baliw? [song]

Philippine Presidentiables 2016: Who is the lunatic? Who is the nuisance candidate? Picture credit: Mad Tea Party in Alice in the Wonderland (Public Domain).

A friend, Gerald Cenir, posted in his Facebook page the following essay on those who make a mockery of the election process. I think the more apt post title is "Sino ang Tunay na Baliw?" or "Who is the true lunatic?" which is a song written by Basil Valdez and sung by Kuh Ledesma. I'll first post Gerard's original Facebook post and then make a song out of some parts of it, with additional input from an Inquirer article on the unlikely presidential candidates, such as the intergalactic space ambassador, the lady monarch, the devil's advocate--most of whom were disqualified by COMELEC.

A. Who are those who mock the election process?

by Gerald Cenir

I am really not sure who makes a mockery out of the election process.
  1. Is it the financially incapable broadcaster from a small party in "schism" who questions the qualifications, under law, of the other seemingly "bigger" candidates?
  2. Is it the candidates from big political parties who are already campaigning earlier than that of the official campaign period with all drama and hype.
  3. Is the candidate who lacks residency requirements but wants the people to decide when there is a clear rule? The candidate also has her natural-born-citizenship in question. A legal question but what we got is a political answer.
  4. Is it the candidate who had an identity crisis, filing a COC using the form for president but wrote he is running for mayor of pasay, who eventually withdrew in order for a mayor from the south to replace him. The story all seems to be a just moro moro but with the commission seemingly favoring them.
  5. Is it the other "small time" candidates whom we all know cannot afford the scale of a nationwide campaign.
  6. Or is it the commission itself that allows an obvious mockery.
  7. Or all those people who praise the mockery of the rules just to make it possible for their candidate to run.

B. Who is the true lunatic? (Philippine Presidentiables)

(Based on the original music and lyrics by Basil Valdez. 
Revised lyrics by Monk's Hobbit based on Gerald Cenir's Facebook post.)

The Presidential race is filled with nuisance candidates:
There's the space ambassador who has alien advisers.
And there's the daughter of Da King, an action star in local films.
But she was once a foundling and a resident alien.

There was one who loudly cried: he is Satan personified.
And he pointed to his heart: "He is dwelling here inside."
And there was one also cried: he is Catholic deep inside.
But no party backed him up. He'll be out there in the dark.

What does the law say? Or should feelings dictate
On who's lunatic or a nuisance candidate?
Was it the foundling? Or the galactic ambassador?
Was it the Devil? Or the Catholic matador?

There was a mayor who applied but with defective COC:
He replaced the man who wished to run for mayor, we see.
And there's a lady who said, "I am God's representative"
She will rule as nation's Queen and reach heaven by the stairs.

What does the law say? Or should feelings dictate
On who's lunatic or a nuisance candidate?
Was it the Mayor with defective COC?
Or was it the lady who'll bring back the monarchy?

There was a former mayor, too, now the country's VP
He once led the survey polls, but graft may knock him off the race
There was a lady senator with a fuming, fiery tongue
Her brains are bigger than her head, but cancer's eating her lung.

What does the law say? Or should feelings dictate
On who's lunatic or a nuisance candidate?
Was it the Mayor with graft cases filed in the court?
Or was it the lady, the cancer-stricken senator?

There was PNoy's chosen one, a secretary of the cabinet.
He was born with a silver spoon, but his masa PR failed.
There was a guard of masa born, but couldn't feed his family
So he ran for president to collect his little salary 

What does the law say? Or should feelings dictate
On who's lunatic or a nuisance candidate?
Was it the rich man with government machinery?
Or was it the poor man...

Who's  lunatic? Who's he, who's she, who's he now?
Who's  lunatic? Who's he, who's she now?
Who's really the true nuisance candidate?


Philippine Politics and Society in the Twentieth Century: Colonial Legacies, Post-Colonial Trajectories (Politics in Asia)
Philippine Politics and Society in the Twentieth Century: Colonial Legacies, Post-Colonial Trajectories (Politics in Asia)
54 Greatest Hits: Basil Valdez
54 Greatest Hits: Basil Valdez
Star Wars Trilogy Episodes IV-VI (Blu-ray + DVD)
Star Wars Trilogy Episodes IV-VI (Blu-ray + DVD)
The BIGGEST LOONEY TUNES 1939-1943 Golden-Era Collection Vol. 1
Devil's Advocate (Unrated Director's Cut) [Blu-ray]
Devil's Advocate (Unrated Director's Cut) [Blu-ray]
Alice in Wonderland
Alice in Wonderland